Kevin Patel was the name I was born into, this was my name for the first decade of my life. On August 20th, 2003 my father legally changed my name to Kishan Patel.

Thirteen years later, in August of 2016 I legally changed my first name back to Kevin.

Background

“If finite players acquire titles from winning their games, we must say of infinite players that they have nothing but their names. …

Titles are given at the end of play, names at the beginning.”

― James P. Carse, Finite and Infinite Games

I had been questioning my relationship with my name for some time prior to changing it. Whatever we think about our name the fact is we are inexorably linked to it. This sense starts at an early age, deeply embedded in our psychology to the extent that it is hidden in plain sight.

My father made the unilateral decision to change my name when I was young. With that decision the connection I had to my name was severed. If this event hadn’t taken place, I would take my name for granted like most people do.

Why I changed my name

I realized in early adulthood that my name was the source of a problem. It gave me a vague sense of discomfort in my everyday life. As I became more aware, this sense rose until I took action to address it.

I didn’t particularly dislike the name Kishan. I disliked living a self-deception. I came to my decision in order to reconnect to my roots, to reforge the link between my past and future. I chose the name Kevin because it was the natural choice. My mother had given me this name; using it keeps the memory of her and other early childhood inspirations alive.

What happened since then

I am sharing this keystone experience with you because it was instrumental for me in regaining fundamental agency over my life. The essence I’m getting at is the primacy of trusting one’s instincts: to continue to listen to that internal impulse, voice, conscience, or inspiration and act on it regardless of internal or external resistance.

I’m grateful for the difficulty in taking this step because it is the most meaningful decison I’ve made. It cleared a major obstruction to my energy, freedom, well-being, and inspiration. It revitalized my relationship with my father, my family, and the world. It properly contextualized the past and reoriented me to the future.